Journey from severe depression – Self healing – Acceptance – Learning – Growth – Connecting – Understanding – Being Unique
Her breath stopped. There he was, standing in front of her, just the way she had imagined every single time she had thought of the moment they would come face to face. But she had never expected him to show up here, right in front of her university, … [ https://wp.me/p9gQIL-aM ]
— QueenZombie
Who was telling the story ? And whose story was it anyway ?
The words fluttered and flew in the wind.
As he saw the shadow disappearing from the mirror in front of him.
“You are a lair”, Clare raised her hands as one does to slap.
It was their wedding night when Edward tried to comfort his newly wedded wife. Clare was sweating, and was unable to move, thousands of thoughts running through her mind. It had happened before when she was first married to John, her first husband.
Clare was in her nineteen’s when she fought against her family and got married to John.
“John stop playing now, Get in, I am waiting for you”
“Close your eyes darling”, John shouted from outside bedroom.
“Don’t play any games”
“Trust me darling”
It was after 5 minutes when Clare found herself tied to the bed, and blindfolded.
“John, this is not funny, at least unfold the covering from my eyes”
“Don’t touch me”, Clare shouted out loudly.
“I am sorry, I just wanted to ask – Are you okay?”, Edward said politely.
How could someone forget their first wedding night, Clare had already made all the necessary arrangement for night, John was busy with his parents the whole day, and later with his old friend whom he met after fifteen years. It was 2 a.m when Clare heard him say “Close your eyes darling”, and later found herself lying naked beside a stranger in a pool of blood, it was not John. John went missing, and so Clare’s trust from John.
Edward met Clare in an unexpected way, when he heard the waiter complaining about a customer who have different needs, and ask to bring it one by one.
Edward ran a restaurant, he belonged to a business class family. Finally, Edward stepped out from his office and went to the customer to ask her needs.
“When did waiters started dressing so well?”, She said without looking at Edward completely.
“May I have your order mam”, Edward Replied.
It was after 5 minutes when he returned back with the order, and sat across her. Within few minutes they became comfortable with each other.
It became Clare’s daily routine to visit Edward at his restaurant and have lunch with him. And one day, Edward proposed her, for which she said “Yes”.
It was their wedding night when Edward found Clare sweating, and feeling uncomfortable. When he lied down beside her, she shouted “Don’t touch me”, which made Edward tensed and worried.
As he turned towards the other side, he recalled that day when few years ago, he was just closing down his restaurant and a customer entered. He was heavily bleeding, and his face seemed as someone had smashed it. He asked for a class of water, drank it fastly and left without uttering a word. But he left a picture of a beautiful young girl. And behind that picture it was clearly written “Clare, I love you – will you marry me?”
Edward stood up from bed, switched onn the lights and found Clare asleep. There was something in Clare’s hand, it was a book – which read “This is my story”, Edward took it swiftly from her, as he opened the first page he saw the same man he met few years ago heavily bleeding. He rushed to the other room and began to read, it ended on their wedding night the last sentence was “I am still waiting for John and he wants me to close my eyes – I think he has a surprise for me”.
The next day when Clare found her book missing she asked Edward whether he saw it? he said “NO”, which made Clare angry.
“You are a lair”, Clare raised her hands as one does to slap.
“Yes I took it, and I know where John is”, Edward Replied.
“What happened next? mummy”, Little Alfred asked her mother curiously.
“Alfred, Mummy had died a long ago, Whom are you talking to ?”, Elizabeth found her little brother standing infront of the mirror, asking questions to her dead mother’s photo.
Who was telling the story ? And whose story was it anyway ?
The words fluttered and flew in the wind.
As he saw the shadow disappearing from the mirror infront of him.
—- Abdul Gani Punjabi
(It was dark, She switched on the lights. The room was beautifully decorated, as it is decorated on a honeymoon night)
“She started making him comfortable, and started undressing him – That’s when the bell rang”
To be continued…
“Now who is this ?” Angelina got irritated when the bell rang continuously.
(The banging on the door got louder, and John heard his name been called out)
“Wait – Let me check“, John hurriedly walked towards the door.
When he looked through the key-hole, He was shocked.. There were three muscular boys, holding a base ball bat in their hands and were looking ready to break the door.
“Who are they?” – John went back to Angelina, and tried to figure out “Why are they behind him“.
It was after 2 minutes, they broke the lock and got in. One of them slapped Angelina, and the other kicked her hard on her stomach. The third one went to John, and punched him on his eyes.
Leaving him bleeding on the floor, they took all the belongings of john, His watch, wallet, Gold ring, credit card, Mobile phone, shoes and even his blazer that costed around $599.
John tried to open his eyes, he could see the ceiling fan running very slow, a small window from where light hit his face, Walls on his sides and a torn-blanket on which he was sleeping.
“John wake up its 5 am, We are getting late for the meeting“.. The voice was familiar, It was Richard his childhood friend.
“Richard ?” John said in amazement.
“Come on john, This is our life’s first business meeting. I dont want any excuses now” – Richard stood infront of the mirror fixing his tie, He dressed himself as a professional businessman.
John woke up, Pushed Richard aside (Friendly push) and looked into the mirror.
“What happened to my eyes – Richard?”
“You fall down yesterday, from the ladder while trying to fix the fan”
“When did that happened?”
“After we had a fight”
“Fight?”
“Yes, When i told you the ladder was not strong enough to hold your weight”
“Hahaha” – John burst out in laughter..
“I am driving” – John opened the main door, and started the car.
“No John, You sit back – I am driving. Look at your eyes, You can’t even see what’s infront”
“I am driving – That’s All” – John pushed the accelerator and moved ahead.
“Okie – Just drive safely” – Richard said in frustration.
“John watch out, It was red light” – Richard shouted.
-^-^-^-^-^- Heartbeats falling -^-^-^-^-
“Wipe the blood from his eyes” The surgeon said, Pointing towards one of the doctor present in the operation room.
“His pulses are falling” – Said the doctor.
“Injection please” – Instructed the surgeon, To the nurse who stood at the operational tool kit”
“John, It’s hurting – Get me out of here” – Richard was in pain.
“I can’t move” – John replied.
“John, Shout for help”
” Help – Help – Someone please call the ambulance”
Richard bought his hand near to John, John pressed his fingers against Richard’s finger.
“I am sorry Richard” John started to cry.
“Richard? Richard? Are you listening? Richaaaarrdd” At that very moment John felt like a shock passed through his body.
“Doctor, he is losing his pulses” The nurse said slowly.
“Seems like a past memory had triggered his mind, and he is not able to get out of it”, Doctor replied.
“Richard, don’t leave me Alone.. Richard” – This was the last thing he remembered before getting unconscious.
It was 7 am in the morning when John slowly opened his eyes, and found himself lying on hospital bed.
“John are you okay?” – A beautiful women was, holding his hand.
“You ? I have seen you somewhere”
“Yeah, We met in the bar, And that’s when that girl took you with her”
“The bar tender?”
“Yes, When i saw those boys passing through the club, and climbed the stairs.. I knew something was wrong. I followed them, And saw them taking the girl away, and leaving you bleeding on the floor”
“Thank you for saving my life”
“Oh come on,Don’t make me embarrass”
“I mean it”, John replied.
Epilogue :- Later when John recovered from injuries, He tried to find out about Angelina, Which made him shocked as he found Angelina was working with those boys. It was her plan to call the boys and beat her so that it would make everything seems real, leaving her free from blame.
John and Elisa (The bar tender) became good friends, It was after a long time John got a friend like Richard. Elisa found herself in love with John, and ended up marrying John.
“Sometime in life, There are incidents that changes our perspective about life, Friends, Loves, Romance.
But when we decide to take hold on our life’s, We end up meeting those people who makes us feel complete, and guide us to the purpose of our life”
-Abdul Gani Punjabi
“I know you are searching for pleasure, I can satisfy your needs” – Angelina said, With an evil smile on her beautiful face..
Being Single at the age of 27 feels like a curse, When after trying for millions of time – They leave you saying, You are damn boring and definitely not the right person to be with – This is how exactly John was feeling, Sitting alone in his flat and smoking a pack of cigarettes is the only thing left in his life.
I known being intelligent can make it hard to hold on to a relationship, especially when you know the other person is just after your wealth, and have no real interest in you – This was constantly repeating in his mind.
JOHN was one of the most successful business tycoon the world had ever seen. He had businesses in around 178 countries in the world. One of the youngest businessmen with a worldwide networks.
In his nineteen’s he stepped into the world of blogging, His main focus was on been an entrepreneur and helping people to start up their own business. After consistently posting up original and helpful content he was nominated as the world most Smart-Ass person.
As years passed by, he started up his own company who assisted start-ups, and provided them with the best guidelines. Every new start-up was an experiment for him, from which he learned the steps not to be taken while starting up a company.. Few of the times he failed miserably, but that failure didn’t stop him. With the support of 72 members of his company he decided to open up a branch in another country, which would help them in research,analysis, and planning process.
It was hard at first for the 22 year old adult to take this big decision, But he believed in his dreams which made it easy and Possible.
If you would have seen john, when he was graduating form University of Northampton, He was friendly but very sensitive. He knew lots of people but didn’t had any close-friends. He always stood out from the rest, He was clear in presenting his views and thoughts, Someone upon whom you can relly for knowledge.
John had a hard time maintaining relationship, Because he know the dramas going around were energy draining. ALONE that’s the word he preferred when asked by his so called friends to join for a party.
“Party is just a synonyms of pulling someone’s leg down” – He said to himself.
“Work – to – Work”, John’s moto of life.
“Romantic? Not at all”
“Love – How do you even spell it”
“Have you ever smiled”
“Attitude ? huh ?- keep it to yourself”
“You are a loser – learning to kiss”
“When was the last time you had some cocky fun”
“Come on, atleast hold my hand. You make me feel lonely”
He got frustrated with this thoughts, taking over his consciousness.. He took out the last piece of cigarette remaining in the packet and yelled out loud..
“Why is it bad to be soo nice, What wrong have i done? Never hurted anyone, nor had a fight.. Then why me” – Tears flowed through his eyes.
“Be yourself – A Voice kicked in”
He wore his suits, dressed up neat – it was nearly 8:35 at night, Jumped into his Ferrari and drove at high speed, breaking all the signals, escaping from death almost 3 times in a row. Finally he stopped at a club, Threw his blazer into the next seat, Entered furiously. His eyes searching for someone who can satisfy his urges, at this moment..
Eyes in which he can get lost into a different universe, Lips that can make his dry lips wet, Someone who can make him forget his life for a few minutes or hours. Someone who can console him and tell him – he was not a failure, but the right time had not arrived.
“What can i have for you sir?”
“Anything, that can kill me slowly, and i must feel the pain” – he replied.
“That won’t help sir” – She replied in a calm tone, And seemed as she was concerned.
“What makes you think it won’t help?”
“I had a friend, Who was addicted to drugs – She wanted to die slowly, but ended up committing suicide” – She replied in a sad voice.
(A girl appeared from John’s right, holded his hands)
“Ohh, You seem stressed up, Aren’t you?”
“Me ?”
“I know you are searching for pleasure, I can satisfy your needs” – Angelina said, With an evil smile on her beautiful face..
“Follow me”
(Her voice was magnetic, She took her towards the second floor of the club. Rooms booked for VIP)
“What’s here ?”
“Satisfaction and Pleasure”
(It was dark, She switched on the lights. The room was beautifully decorated, as it is decorated on a honeymoon night)
“She started making him comfortable, and started undressing him – That’s when the bell rang”
—- To be continued…
— Abdul Gani Punjabi
Richard? Richard? – John Shouted (Part 2)
“Please don’t leave now, Be here with us” – Maria said.
“Bus”
That’s where it all started, The stranger sitting next to me strike a conversation in Arabic, And luckily i knew Arabic, so we went with the flow.. He said something which i don’t clearly remember, soon after that i got down from the bus and headed towards my “Friend (A girl whom i like)” house..
It was on the 22nd floor, when i knocked on the door – the door was already open, but i preferred to stand outside, and knocked once again.. a girl appeared next to me and opened the door and went in..
I said,” Excuse me, is “Maria” at home?” she looked at me, went inside the house and knocked the door next to her.. It was the bathroom just steps from the entrance, I stood lying against the door’s side wall, and when she came out from the bathroom, she looked towards me but ignored me, and went on the other side of the room..
I was confused, What should be done now ? When Maria don’t remember who i am !..
Let me describe her house, from the entrance after few steps on the left is a bathroom, and on the right side there is a hall, and next to the hall it’s the kitchen, and turn left from the kitchen there are 2 rooms one for her parents, and one of her… And straight from the entrance towards the end – on the right side there is another room.. So that how big and simple her house is..
Without saying a word, i kept moving backward.. I was looking towards the door, but i took a step back until i reached to the lift in which i came up.. And then a voice appeared for inside the house, It was one of her friend, they had a party that day so she invited 3 of her friends..
She said,” You see nowadays this clothes do not get clean, even if we use different powder to wash”
I was speechless now, She thought i was a salesman standing at the door to promote some cleaning powdered.. Actually i was dressed-up too formally so she mistook me as a salesman…
In the mean time all of them gathered around each other, 2 girls stood on the left side of that girl and Maria stood on the right side..
Then, That girl started to mimic her mother’s actions, How her mother keep telling her things which she do not like, then she started to dance.. Everyone was laughing at her.
Maria came towards me and said,
” Please don’t leave now, be here with us”
… I was more confused then ever, at first she ignored me and now she want me to stay ?
I looked at her, and walked towards the door – The 4 of them where now enjoying even more.. They invited me into the house, and the music was on.. They dance “Crazy” and they turned dim lights onn..
In the flow, One of her friend – came close to me, To be honest i had never been so “Physically” close to a girl as she was getting toward me.. I just closed my eyes, and i felt her lips on mine.. I was excited but at the same Moment, i didn’t knew what to do – and there we had a “Kiss“..
My life’s first kiss “BUT” from a “Stranger” i never met before..
At last, i moved myself away from her, and walked towards a chair, But then one of her another friend interrupted, and holded my hands.. And pulled me closer to her, I felt her heart-beats it was too fast, And her body was getting warmer, She kept one hand near my waist and another on my shoulder.. The darkness was getting more dark, I felt her body against mine, the aroma was sweat which attracted me more towards her.. and then she came more closer to me, once again i slowly closed my eyes and she placed her lips on mine, this time it was too intense.. It was a “French kiss”.. I felt her soft tongue, touching mine.. She pressed me towards her, and hugged me very tight.. It was irresistible. Slowly, we stepped back and she joined one of her friend, and started to chat..
Maria was busy with something, so she didn’t saw what happened.. After the party ended – her friends left..
From the room, next to the kitchen – Maria’s mom called her and said her to look after her granny in the next room.. (The last room straight from the entrance) We visited her, she was sleeping. Maria holded her hand, and looked towards me,” I love her – more than anyone else in this world”
I saw tears, gushing out of her eyes, I went near to her and comforted her with few words and a hug..
She was happy, i visited her after a long time – At an unexpected time, In an unexpected way … I am still clueless who ? were those girls who kissed me …
After few days, i received a call from Maria, her voice showed she was in anger.. What happened at the party night ? tell me the truth, i replied with honestly whatever happened.
She broke down, and i heard only few things while she was crying..
“I loved you, from a long time ago and that day i ignored you, Because i was feeling shy to tell my feelings to you. But You broke my Trust Now…”
It’s been 1 and a half year since that incident took place i “Deeply regret” for what i have done.. I could have resisted them for getting closer to me but i couldn’t..
Maria do not receive my calls neither does she replies to my messages..
I have lost someone special for someone’s temporary pleasure..
“Life has unexpected things in it’s way, In unexpected ways, If you believe in love – Kiss and hugs matters, But words of comforts are more important”
— Abdul Gani Punjabi
“Excuse us – Please, We need a break” – Sam said, in between a very serious meeting.
“Who wants to be the class representative ?” – Miss shalini announced in the class.
I always dreamt to be the CR of the class, because it gives us an opportunity to learn, take responsibility, and team work. So i stood up for the post.
On the other side there were 3 boys and 2 girl, Who stood up for the same. Everyone kept their proposal, I said them,”I will arrange a trip once in a year“..
In our Junior college, We were not allowed to go on a pic-nic/Trip. So my offer attracted them. And i got elected.
“Congratulations khushi” – There was a soft whisper from behind.
“Thank You” – I said, without turning my face.
“Sam” – It was him, sitting behind me, he was tall, had long hairs, blue eye, and a little muscular body..
“Hi khushi, I am Sameer – Do you mind if i sit here?”
“Have a seat”
“Would you like to have something? “
“No – I bought my Tiffin”
“OKie”
He took out a packet of biscuit and offered it to me. They were delicious. He said his mother made it.
He was also the CR, the rule was one male and one female should be elected.
That was the first conversation we had, as time passed by we became close friends.
Teasing, Arguing, calling each other at night and sharing our day to day life was something we enjoyed.
It was after our first term Examination, When my classmates demanded for a trip. As i had promised them, it was my call to convince our teachers for the trip. We decided to visit AGRA, everyone agreed and said they were ready to support Us.
We decided to conduct a meeting with our teachers on 23 feb 2005. Everything was planned, things were going well.
But on 22 feb, in the evening, i started vomiting and fell ill. And i had a very severe back pain. This was something strange, it never happened to me, and the pain in the stomach was getting harder.. That night i could not sleep because of the pain, and the stress of the next day meeting..
In the morning, i gathered courage and went to college.
“Are you ok ?” – Sam asked.
“Yes” – I said in a low voice.
“NO, You are not – You need to rest”
“I am fine, let’s prepare for the meeting”
“No, i am postponing this meeting”
I got irritated, and we had a huge fight. It was 10 am, teachers were waiting for us, So for me it was an important meeting, Sam was angry, but he joined along..
The first 25 minutes went well, we did our best to convince our teachers, they agreed to some points but refused some..
As i was talking, i felt like vomiting, and the stomach-ache was getting more worse, Sam noticed that my condition was getting worse, he diverted their attention with an interesting question, Which made the meeting more serious. As they were thinking, he stood up and acted as if he had some very important, then the meeting.
“Excuse us – Please, We need a break” – Sam said, in between a very serious meeting.
I was astonished by his behaviour, He grabbed my hand and took me to an empty classroom, And handed me a black polythene… And instructed me to visit the washroom and use it.
I was totally embarrassed, when he said me to visit the washroom. I followed as he said, on opening the polythene i found a packet which said,” Whisper choice ultra – 6 pads wings” …
“What is this ?” – I said to myself, feeling more embarrassed now.
I went through the instruction, and did what it said..
When i came out of the washroom, I was not able to look in sam’s eyes, but then he came to me and said something that made everything seemed like it was normal.
“Khushi – I know, At this very moment you might be feeling very uncomfortable to talk with me, but let me tell you, when we met in the morning, i knew something was not right, and the things you mentioned such as vomiting, back pain, stomach-ache, those were the signs when a girl gets her “Menstruation Cycle” started.. And when you fought with me, that gave me a stronger proof that it was the beginning of your “Personal Time“, So as a precaution i purchased this from the chemist in case you might need it…
There is nothing wrong in it, every girls passes through this phase, some periods ends for 3 – 5 -8 days while some take longer time. When we were in 9th standard, we read about the human reproductive system, and we even had some lectures on “Sex Education” in which we were introduced to the topic “Menstruation“.. I know it’s really a painful period, for not only women but for girls too.. You girls are really very brave to pass through that phase, I respect you…
That was something he said, which changed my embarrassment into comfort..
I stood there speechless, Looking at him, and he lowered his gaze as a sign of respect..
We went to the meeting, and the luck was with us, that year we went to AGRA, and the trip was held successfully.
This incident happened almost 12 years ago, As i was passing by the memories in this photo album – It reminded me of Sam..
Sam works with different Ngo and Social service group, and his aim is to Conduct Session on the topic “Sex Education” through which he helps people of all ages. He believe that, husbands, brother, father, boys and everyone should know how much pain a girl suffer during her periods.. And they should be allowed to rest, instead of burdening them with household works.
“Some stories makes us feel uncomfortable, But there are lessons that goes beyond our imagination”
—- Abdul Gani Punjabi
“This is not my son, but I found him there” – Aaron said.
“But the way he is attached to you – Seems like you are his father, tell us the truth !” – The Investigation officer questioned.
Sometime in search of happiness we take steps, which lead us to the wrong path, but the path Aaron choose was different..
That’s what happened with Aaron.
I knew Aaron from my childhood days, We spent half of our times together, so i know him pretty well.
It was the last day of our graduation period, and we planned to visit a bar in the following night.
Aaron came from a Christian orthodox family, He was very sincere with his prayer timings, and was considered the most innocent person in our friend circle. He had a dream, a dream different from others, he wanted to be fire-fighter. Because he believed – “Saving One person is equal to saving his whole generation”..
We used to laugh at him, whenever he discussed his dream with us..
“Fire-Fighter ?? – Hahaha ”
As i said, he was sincere and innocent, he backed-up from the bar plan. But we wanted him to come with us, so we convinced his parents and told them we were staying out for Fun – And we aren’t going to do anything wrong.
They trusted us, and allowed him to join..
“THE BAR”
“Jeezi don’t force me, JEEZI” – Aaron said to me in a low tune, when i tried to force him to drink.
“Aaron, Just a little amount- Aaron”
“NO, I Won’t – Never. I won’t stop you from drinking but i won’t drink”
We drank a lot, but he did not – He was committed to his faith.
When we were done, i remember vividly, We were not able to walk, and we were shouting like crazy guys on the street..
“Aaron will you drive for us” – I asked.
“Ok” – He agreed, while seeing in our eyes he knew, we won’t be able to drive.
On the way, we stopped by a shop and got ourselves some cigarettes and chips.. But there was some strange feeling at that place, it smelt like something was on fire..
“Hurry up – Jezzi, Fast – Come on guys, look at your back, the building is on fire – RUN – RUN – RUN” – Aaron shouted loudly, and waved his hand.
We ran towards the car, and moved forward.. but just 5 min away, Aaron got down from the car and ran towards that building… We were speechless of what we see..
“Is he gone mad ? Call him back ” – I shouted to my friends, but we were so low that we couldn’t speak up.
He ran to the shop, bought 3 big water bottle, And he poured one on himself, and the other two he took to the building..
“This is my dream, this is my chance – I can do it, And i know that, I have that courage..”
Out of this three Bottle, i need to pour one on me so that my body do not get on fire, because my clothes are wet… and the other two bottles- I am going to carry this, and will give to the one who survived in there..
“Why are this people standing outside, and taking videos on their phones, Why don’t they help the one inside“. This was constantly running in my mind, i took my phone, call the fire-fighter, and ran into the building.
“For a second i lost all the courage when i saw people burning down in-front of my eyes, but i was aware of my dream, and tried to rescue them but it was too late..
On the second floor, i heard a voice of a woman,
“It’s a dreams baby, nothing is going to happen, mummy is here, It’s all a dream – Sleep”
It’s a dream ? what is she saying ? people are dying inside the building and she says it’s a dream ?
“I broke open the door, and found a Girl, (The most beautiful girl i ever saw) next to her was a child of 4 years.. I ran and give her the two bottles, She took a blanket, and pour the water over it.. And she spread open the blanket, wrapped up herself and the child.. And we ran towards the exit..
But due to the smoke, produced by the fire, the view was not clear.. there was a stand lying in between, and she fell off .. the blanket was no more on her, and she got some severe burns, but we survived…
“Who is the child and girl with him ? “ – I exclaimed.
“Hmm – The fire-fighter is here with a child and a lady – Hahahah” – They replied.
And came running to us, said us to get out of the car, and drove them to hospital ..
The sad news was, he couldn’t save the girl but the child survived.
Next day, When we regained our senses back – We were disappointed by ourselves, We could have save someone’s life, if we were not drunk…
Aaron took the responsibility of the child, he treated him like his own son.. On Leo’s (The Child) 9 birthday, there was a call on the door. It was the investigation officer.
“Aaron come with us, we have some questions for you” – He said.
“Sure”
“Five years ago, there was a fire tragedy where almost 28 people died, but only one child survive, There was a Brave man who saved him – Do you know that man ?”
Aaron Smiled, Yes – I was the one who saved him, and he is my son now..
“This is not my son, but i found him there” – Aaron said.
“But the way he is attached to you – Seems like you are his father, tell us the truth ! – The Investigation officer questioned.
“Some stories are unsaid, Because it matters to the one who lived the story”
—- Abdul Gani Punjabi
