This story is not for – You

This story is not for – You. Listen I am serious….! Because I know you are not at all expecting me to write such story. But I am going to hurt your expectation right now at this very moment. Because this is not just a story but reality of life at some point of life. So once again, stop reading this post and turn to another one – Because this story is not for you..!
So you are still here? Willingly to read this story – which will hurt your expectation. So okay – Your choice.. GO AHEAD AND READ IT……!
What’s the wildest dream of a man? Wildest..? I am not saying about the decent dream, which is – I wanna grow up, chill in college, earn, travel the world, and be world richest man. That’s all the decent one, but I am asking about the wildest one…..

James, there she is…. Looking for you man.. Come on – Wake up… or you are gonna lose her forever. James… James…. JAAAMMMESSSSS…. (Heart beat dropping)..

That’s all I remember, Leo shouting my name from the corridor..

(Deep Breath…).. This is wrong – Janet, we are not adult yet – Stop touching me there, it’s not appropriate. Janet, this is making me sick now.. Please stop.. Janet… Ja…net… Jan….. (Deep Breath…)

Janet? I am still wondering was that a wet dream? or reality? It’s been 11 years since that incident took place. The biggest mistake of my life, which I am still regretting – What made me ask her? Janet – What’s your wildest dream?

I remember that day very clearly, it was 11am when Janet’s mother visited our home, and informed my parents about going to a party. And she wanted them to take care of Janet for a day – And I KNEW, that responsibility was going to pass onto me. Because Janet was an Introvert, didn’t interact much with anyone, few friends, and I was one of them. We stayed in the same lane, went to the same school, together. I was clueless until that day… that… that.. something like that could happen..

It was 7pm when my parents told me to visit Janet’s house, and check if everything was okay?

Let me tell you something about myself – I am an introvert too, shy, interact less, and very few friends. Would spend most of my time at home – Alone. Wondering about life, growing up, responsibilities, figuring out right and wrong, and going through the phase of adolescence. I was just 14 at that time. And Janet was 6 months older than me.

(Deep breath….) So that night, like all the normal nights, it was silent and peaceful. When she saw me at the door, she was delighted, as if – she was waiting for me. But she didn’t said a word, except – Come In…

Janet: It’s nice to see, someone actually cares about me..

Me: Hmmm.. Your Mom told us to..

Janet: Anyways.. Tea… Coffeee….?
Me: Water….

Janet: Will get it for you, have a seat in the hall..!

She bought me a glass of water, sat in front of me.. Just casual talks..! Until that 1 question was brought forward… Wildest dream.. So what’s your wildest dream?

(Deep Breath…) Ummmm… It felt good for a while.. filled with pleasure.. but at the very next moment – I felt within – that was wrong.. I tried to avoid it – by holding onto my emotions which was running like wild horses. But she didn’t. It was hard to stop her at that point. She wanted me to touch her, make her go wild, take her to another dimension – Heaven on earth, that’s what she called it… But I was unable to do as she commanded. But she played her part, entered herself into me, was it good or bad, I am still wondering?

Few days later, she visited my home, as if nothing happened. Innocence on her face.. but devil in her eyes, that… that.. happened again at my home.. when my parents went to attend a family function. This time it was intense, harder.. and the worst part – It happened in the dark.. just.. inappropriate touches, and kisses.. hmmm..

(Deep Breathe…) Four continuous year.. every week.. It made me numb.. Numb from within.. though it gave me pleasure, but it took all my strength to love myself.. and the ability to look into my own eyes..

Finally one day, I decided to end it all.. the day before she was leaving.. I took a high dose of sleeping pills, which made me unconscious for a day. And that very day, she came to my home – to visit me last time..

James, there she is…. Looking for you man.. Come on – Wake up… or you are gonna lose her forever. James… James…. JAAAMMMESSSSS…. (Heart beat dropping)..

Few stories create guilt and regret, when we get older.. and we have to go through it every single day.. I wish I can pass this message onto my generation.. We all have dreams.. But make sure – The wildest one should be fulfilled, only with the selective one, and only when you are able to take responsibility of your act.

I wish I had that courage to stop her at the first time itself.. because few addiction takes away all the joy of life.. and make us numb..!

(Heart beat dropping…..)

I found this story written on a piece of paper, in the I.C.U, and when I asked for the owner – They said – James passed away.

2 thoughts on “This story is not for – You

  1. Amazing story. It happens and there comes a point in life when we are not sorted and are driven by our fantasies thinking that they will give us pleasure but indeed they turn out to be the worst decision taken. At last, there is regret and a lesson learnt which is important in life to move on so that it doesn’t happen in future.

    Liked by 1 person

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