It was for the first time, she expressed her emotion in-front of me. Maybe this was what I wanted from the time we met. Express our emotions and trueself.
Our story of getting together was not like all those romantic fairly tales, but she was the one I knew, when I first saw her. I had an ideal picture in my mind about the women I wanted to be with, few of the qualities I admired – Shy, courageous, bold, and understanding. I know this qualities cannot be measured but that is what I love, to observe a person before introducing them into my life.
“Aaah, I am such an idoit. Again I repeated the same mistake,” I said to myself, looking at the clock.
Sarah and I have been married for past 22 years, but still I couldn’t find that connection between us, neither was she like the person I expected to marry with. This many years, we had just very few conversations. Regarding work, and children. Other than that our house was like a graveyard. Dead silence.
“I am sorry, I didn’t meant to wake you up,” Something she always said, after closing the balcony door hardly.
For the first time in many years, I heard a voice which was soft, and heart touching. A voice which I never listened carefully before. A voice filled with joy and care.
“Can you give me some water..Sarah?” I asked politely.
She bought the glass of water, and kept it on the side table. This is not what I was expecting for. I wanted her to sit next to me and ask – How was my day? Did I miss her?.. Instead she stood at the window and starred at the wide sky.
“Yes…” she replied without making any movement.
I went towards her, and hugged her from behind. This was suprising for me as well as her, because never in this 22 years I showed any sign of affection.
She pulled me closer to her, and I felt that oneness..
“You never showed any sign of love and affection before… Are you okay?” She asked, pressing me more closer to her.
“I never leanred the art of expressing our emotions, because since childhood we were thought ‘Boys don’t cry’…”
I still remember that day vivdly, when she looked straight into my eyes. She was bold, courageous, strong but Shy. And I had my ideal girl since the day we got married, but it was that day – 22 years later – I realized.
“You never asked,” I questioned myself with a bitter smile.
Sometimes we forget that we are married, and both of us need love, care and affection but just because of few limiting thoughts, we never express our emotions to our wives..
All Rights reserved 11/11/2018
— Abdul Gani Punjabi