How does it feel to be alive?

I felt alive after a while, when I visited my childhood wounds which was poisoning my life.

I saw it again with the child eyes, it was not horrible but frightful and full of suppression of my emotional life.

It takes a lot of courage to view the truth that took place in your early ages of life, because you took everyone as your guardian, whom you thought were forming the foundation of your life.

Mistake were made because they thought you were a child, but if your WHY was not answered, you felt helpless and rejected time after time.

But is it of any use to visit your past that was filled with fright? Or living in the suffocating present does the magic of living a peaceful life?

I kept asking why I failed at every relationship that took place in my life? Was it because of the unsecure attachments I had with my parents and siblings, always fearing they might leave me alone at home, and what if they die?

The impression this memories leaves in the mind are as strong as a nail hit by a hammer with full force and might, because this were the years we were forming our foundation of life.

Every single time I visit my past, and learn my subconscious conditioning, I became more peaceful and aware in the now, and change those subconscious patterns willingly, that was creating a disturbance in this amazing, exciting, and inspiring GOD given life !

All rights reserved 13/Jan/2019

— Abdul Gani Punjabi

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