When I felt nothing, I doubted myself for being numb and dumb..
.. those were the nights I cried without knowing the upcoming flow of life..
.. I am a loser – I told myself.. But something within me said this is not you..
… I have lived in that state where my mind was in nothingness, and everything was blank..
.. to think a single thought took me hours of pressure in which I almost lost hope..
.. I had ADHD, Bipolar, Alzheimer, Schizophrenia, Amnesia and whatever I read about at that time of dawn..
.. Looking blank into the space thinking nothing, and questioning myself. What am I exactly looking at? . That was the moment I realized I am a loser and the others around me are worth of life.. And I deserve to die, as no one will ever know who am I ?
.. In the nothingness I have learned the greatest lesson of life.. I was near to GOD thinking of my purpose and the reasons ‘WHY’..
After losing every hope, I looked above in the sky up high.. There was a voice within that said.. I know it does not makes sense – But you are the best planner.. I trust your plan.. Give me patience and trust through which I can live my life..
The numbness was still there, and the nothingness increased.. After scrolling through hundreds of articles – I realized.. This is what the world is looking for… Silence in the mind, and peace in the heart.. Wasn’t I searching for this through meditating the past 4 years of my life?
Sometimes we are already blessed, but due to lack of knowledge we see our gifts as curse.. But this nothingness inspires me to live in the NOW.. which is filled with consciousness and the inspiring element of life..
All rights reserved 02/sept.2018
— Abdul Gani Punjabi