“If you are ready, then this is what you have to do”
“Life is not a curse it’s a blessing, every single incident have a meaning, everything is dependant, the cure is within us stop seeking from outside world”
To be Continued……..
“Be honest with the questions i ask, and be honest with yourself ”
“Do you “HATE” your mother and father ?”
“I have already told you the whole story, anyone would hate them”
“Do “YOU” hate them ?”
“Even after they Died ? Think about it”
[Christina was silent]
“What would you have done if you were in place of your mother ?”
” I would have taken care of my daughter and my son, wouldn’t harm them in any ways. I would have never thrown my daughter in a dark room. I would take them to nearby places, and restaurant, and would have given them whatever they would ask me ”
“You mean, you would have given anything”
” I would have did my best ”
“Do you think your husband, who is an Alcoholic, would allow you to take those steps ? ”
[Christina was silent again]
” Ok, let say you are in place of your father. What would you have done for your children “
” I would have done like all the other father do, take care of my children, spend time with them, on vacation i would have taken them to some new places. I would read them stories at night. And probably i would never drink”
“You said, “like all the father do” ? Wasn’t your father, a father ? Tell me who would lock you in the room ? ”
“Who would give you food at night ? ”
“My father, that’s not a big deal any father would do that”
“Ok, Why would your mother close you in the dark room ?”
“Because i was small, and irritates her in her work ”
“So, you are being honest now. You used to irritate her, any child would do that to their parents. You said your mother was mentally torched by your father ?”
“Now, if a person is mentally disturbed, how would they react to others ”
[Christina was silent]
“Let’s talk about your brother, You called him “DEVIL“. Am i right ?”
“Yes, he was a “DEVIL”
“Why would a brother who is a “devil” according to you, would get up and come to rescue you ? When he saw, you were in danger. When did he die ? When he stood to help you ? or When he entered the house ? ”
[Christina was speechless and confused]
“But what about all those childhood tourcher, he did to me. He never helped me, he used to shout at me, scold me in-front of my teachers, and would abuse me”
“Ok, So that’s a problem Now”
“He was not a good person at all”
“Wait, tell me “If you were in place of your brother, How was your life”
“My life would be hectic, that everyday fights in the house would have drain all my energy. So i would prefer to spend time alone, or with someone else”
“Wasn’t your brother doing the same thing you said, right now ?”
“Was there anyone to look after your brother ? Did your father or mother, every said him, what’s right and what’s wrong”
“When my father was an Alcoholic and mother a drug addict, even if they would have said anything. He wouldn’t have listen to them. Because they themselves were being indulged in those act”.
“So Your brother was a devil ? Who spent his time with his friend at the bar, escaping from house-responsibility and did not care for you at all ?
You Said, your brother would scold in-front of the teachers ? That means he was the one who dropped and pick you up from school ?”
“Dear Christina, i know you have suffered a lot in your life, but when we keep holding to those hurtful memories we lose our own real self. The things that your brother’s friend did, Don’t hold grudge against your brother for that, he tried to rescue you”
[Christina was silent, she was confused, Was my father, mother and brother really that bad ? That “Evil” ? My mother started taking drugs because of my father, and my brother did not had anyone to guide, so he saw my father and became like him, and i was the one who suffer. I saw my mother shouting like mad, Was she really that bad ? Why did my father started to drink ? What was his reason to drink ?]
“I am drown into a web, and i don’t know. What’s the truth? ”
“To know the “Truth” you need to remove the viel from your mind ”
” By Forgiving them”
“I will never forgive them, i have faced those moments, i went through all that suffering and pain. You don’t know how it feels”
“You are right, i cannot feel. But i can Understand, and if you don’t forgive them things would never change”
“It’s not easy to forgive them”
“I know, but try it. Go step by step :-
1. Recall the moments of hurt.
2. Recall the pain at that moment.
3. Feel the pain and surrender to that pain.
4. Observe the reason for the pain.
5. Accept the pain as yours. Do not run away, but face it.
6. Forgive them in your mind, take their names and forgive those people who hurt you.”
“Can you explain it in detail”
“Yes, let’s imagine. Your mother locked you in the room, you are crying and she does not care about it”
“Recall the moment when she locked you in the room, recall those feeling of loneliness and fear. Accept that moment as it was, feel the pain again and surrender to that pain. Now observe the reason of that pain – Your mother. When you have observed the reason, face that moment and forgive your mother for doing that”
“It’s hard, the pain is increasing, it hard to forgive when you have faced such incidents ”
“Forgiveness is the step to change”
[Christina body became tighter, she was vibrating, and her muscles contracting, and her neck uncomfortable, and after few second there was relief on her face]
“Are you Ok, Christina? ”
“It seems like a heavy stone has just fallen off from my shoulders, and the pain in the neck has decreased ”
“So you see how it works ? ”
“Yes, feeling better”
“Good to hear that, Now apply that to all the hurtful events of your life, this is your homework until next time we meet”
“Oh, it’s 9 pm. I am really thankful to you, for giving your precious time ”
(Christina was feeling better than before, everyday she worked on her painful memories and forgive the people who hurt her.. Her life was transforming… Her health was getting better, and she saw hope in her life. It was a month later, she met Dr.Eric again)
“Good Morning Doctor”
“Good Morning, Christina. How are you feeling now ?”
“Much better than before ” – Her face was shining.
“Have you done the homework ?”
“Yes, i have done most of it. Getting into other person shoe and seeing life from their point of view”
“That’s Good, You got it”
(Christina was feeling lucky)
“I hope now your thoughts are becoming positive, and changing your view on life”
“I have something more important to teach”
“Something new ? “
“Back to the chair ” – he pointed to the same chair in the right side.
“What do you think about the mind? “
” Ok, so let me tell you.. The mind lives in the present, The one who is “AWARE” can take Benefit from it “
“Let me explain through example :- Imagine you are in 5th, and the Teacher is shouting at you, everyone is laughing, you are embarrassed, and you felt your confidence broke into pieces”
” That’s what happen ”
” I know, Now imagine yourself as the ‘Teacher‘ ”
“Yes, you are the Teacher who took the assignment, and instead of shouting, you said,” This is pretty amazing, how did you do this Christina ? Everyone around started to clap, you started to feel more confident of your work. Everyone congratulated you after the Teacher left the class. How would you feel now ? “
“Good, more confident. But that’s not the “TRUTH” ”
“Your mind does not knows what’s true or false, it just accept the inputs you give to it”
“So, You mean i change the whole scenario that happened with me, to the one i am imagining right now ? ”
“Yes, You have that power to change the whole scenario, but first you need to accept the old (real) thing that happened, and then replace it with your imagination. However you want ”
“Can you give more examples ”
“Yes, Your mother was a drug addict, you know – whatever she did to you. Now you should accept everything she did to you, you should not resist that moment. Once you accept those hurtful moments you can replace them with “How you want it to be“.
So let’s imagine :- Your mother was very much caring about you, and your father loved your mother. They cared for both of you. Your parents were the most Caring parents. Specify it through “Imagination ” like they care for you when you were sick, your mother dropped you to school and your father pick you up. Your brother always supported you etc”
“Is that possible”
” Yes it is. Because the things i am saying you is what i have did in my life. I too had a dark past. But once you know how to change your perspective.. Your entire life will change “
“I will surely do that, I forgive my mother, father and brother because today i understood no one was actually bad, it was the situation and their life experiences that they reflected upon me”
“You understood it very well, that is the change i was talking about, practice it in your life for each and every moment. Once your mind is calm (By making peace with the past) you became “Aware”, and when you are “Aware” you can change your habits, situations, conditions and perspective “
“Dr.Ruth was right, i have been to many doctors but they never gave me the “View” which you gave me today. They just kept me on “Anti-depressant” which made the matter worse”
“Now, when you have understood the steps “How to change your life“, I wish you will forward it to everyone who need help.”
“Sure” – She said, while getting up from the chair.
We met only two times, in the span of 6 months. Today she came at my office to invite me at her wedding. She was happy, energetic, and her attitude towards life was totally different than she had before we met.
Epilogue :- Christina got promoted to higher-post in the company. She was punctual, and her self-stem was unbreakable now. Her co-worker was happy and satisfied and were willing to work more because of her positive attitude towards things. She got married to John.
She says, “John is the perfect husband she dreamed of – caring,loving, supporting, and understanding”..She visit the same park with her husband at night, and look towards the sky and says :- “I know you are the best planner, I remember the night i yelled at you, and the day the bell rang, and the day today when i am sitting next to my husband... She started helping people who were feeling helpless, and planned to suicide.
She say herself, as a blessed person. Who now was helping people to face Depression, Anxiety, panic attacks.. By making them understand their “Brain pattern”.
“The Meaning of life is different for everyone, so it’s better to live in the moment. And “Live” the meaning instead of Finding it”
—– Abdul Gani Punjabi