… I lost someone who loved me..
Tag: #lost
In search of “ME”…
…. i did everything, I thought that will bring me near to me, But little did i knew – Those things showed me “Who I am not”…
“On meeting strangers in my life, i knew everyone was a stranger until we allowed them to be known”
—-Abdul Gani Punjabi
Olivia’s Call
Stories that are extra-Ordinary…
(Tring Tring) ….. (Tring Tring) …..
“True love exists, but sometimes it needs patience and care, and if doubt enters into life than it’s better to ask, and not bury it inside”.
To be Continued……
[The number you are trying to call is busy]..
Olivia kept calling, but there was no reply. In vain she returned to Xon and said, “She is Busy”.
“As i said” – Xon replied.
That day they had no more conversation, at night Olivia kept thinking about her mother. She still remember when she was 5, Grace left her in an orphanage. And it was Xon who bought her home.
“Why ?” , “Why did she did that?” – Olivia kept asking herself.
The next day when Xon dropped her off to college, After spending an hour in college, she left and went to the telephone directory control room located in Munich city. But from there she could not get any information.
At night Olivia asked,”Dad, when was the last time you met her?“.
“13 years ago”.
Olivia did not asked any other questions, next day she planned to call “Luke”, her brother.
“Maybe luke could help me” – she said to herself.
(Tring… Tring)….
“Yes”
“Luke, it’s me Olivia, How are you and Sophia?”
“We are doing well”
“Luke…. (Clearing her voice) … Where is Mom ?”
“Olivia, Are you OK ?, You never asked that before ”
“I found the photo album yesterday, And it was there i knew about her”.
“Better ask “JIM“, he knows her well”
“Ok, Thank you… BYE”
Why dont anyone talk about mom ? was she so bad and irresponsible ?.
That evening she couldn’t hold her self and went to Munich, and waited for 15 minutes outside the shop. Jim saw her, and called her in, But she refused.
“What are you doing her, Olivia ? You should be in college at this time”.
“Jim, I have few questions, and i need those answer”
“Ok, let’s go and sit there”.
( ” Augustiner klosterwirt restaurant ” )
“Yes, what’s your question about ? ”
“About Grace, My Mom”
(Jim was shocked when he heard that)
“Does your father know you are here”
“He went on business deal today so i made it here, or else i wouldn’t be here”
“Ok….. I See “.
Xon was 12 years old when his parents got divorced, His father was an Alcoholic and his mother used to work in houses to earn daily bread, His mother did her best to educate him, and that’s how we met in School.
Everyday there would be fight in his house, and sometimes his father may end up beating him and his mother severely. Once he was drunk, and came home at night 2:30 am. When Xon opened the door, his father started abusing him, when his mother came to defend him. He slapped her, and hit her with the bottle he was holding in his hand. His mother became unconscious, and Xon ran to his neighbours for help. They took her to the hospital, while his father did not bothered to look at his wife.
Xon got depressed after that incident, his mother asked for a divorce, and his father refused. But after a month he agreed, and demanded for a sum of 10,000. Usually the women ask for it, but here, his father was asking for money. Somehow she paid him as she had no other option. And they came here to Munich. His mother got a serving job, in a hotel. Xon accompanied her and within few days after coming here, Xon got an offer to work in the shop he owns today. He was hard-Working, punctual, and energetic. As time went by, he recovered from his depression, and earned better than before. That’s how he bought this shop. When he was 20 years old, his mother passed away. Due to which he was disturbed, and spent sleepless nights.
One day when we visited “Rathaus – Glockenspiel“, he wished for “The love of his life“. That day he met Grace. In the evening, when we went to “Frauenplatz“, she was sitting there surrounded by children. When she was done, your father introduced himself. And we three went for a Coffee. And one day Xon came to me and said, “Jim, I am planning to get Married“. I was happy for him. And arranged everything for their marriage. I was there with him, in most of his life.
“Where is Dad’s Father , Did he came to see his wife for the last time ? ” – Olivia asked.
“He disappeared, No-one knows where he went”
“What about Mom ?” – Olivia continued asking.
After they got married, everything was going well, and then germany faced a financial crises. The income reduced, Grace worked even more harder to earn for you, And Xon became stressed up by not earning as much as Grace. And he started Drinking, Smoking, and gambling. Instead of spending it on his children, he spent in on gambling. There came a time, when he had nothing to give, and he was beaten to death by the mobs. And i still remember, you were five years old. When she left you to the orphanage, because she did everything for your survival but couldn’t make it. She demanded for divorce, but Xon refused. After staying apart for 1 years, Xon realised he was wrong, and seek her to get back in his life. You were still in the orphanage, it was me who used to visit you daily, while your father was busy in the bar- Drinking. He did not kept his word, they lived together for a month. But was not happy, and decided to separate. They are not divorced, but they don’t stay together.
Grace was an orphan. She too lived a difficult life. Her parents died in the firing that took place in the city, but she survived. She was sent to the orphanage, she was courageous, smart and hard-Working.Seeing her hard-work, the owner of the orphanage sent her to law college, where she scored the best grade And was known for her trustworthiness.
That day when the bell ran at ” Rathaus – Glockenspiel” she prayed for “Oh God, I ask you to bless me with children’s who would be the coolness to my eyes“. She said this to me, when she left you to the orphanage. She cried, For the first time i saw her, she was broken into pieces, But she stood alone. She kept sending money in the orphanage, so that you may not suffer. She was a great women.
(Olivia started crying)
“Where is she now?”
When Xon got conscious, it was too late. She left the city till that time. It took three years for Xon to recover from his habits, and then he went to the orphanage and bought you home. After that he never drank, nor he smoked, He miss her everyday, but is afraid to reach her, Some mistake in our life is hard to forget. And the guilt kills us every day. He is dying every single day, he miss her, and always pray for her safety.
Olivia never thought this could be the story behind the separation, she always saw her father as the most caring and hardworking person. But the past had so many secrets and pain.
She understood, it was not her father’s fault nor her mother. They both came from different families with different experiences. Her father never knew, how to be a good husband because his father’s father was an Alcoholic and did not gave him any good teaching. While Grace lived in an orphanage, she knew how it feels to be left alone, so she was aware of the pain. And did her best to serve her children.
(Tring….. Tring….)
“Hello, Who is this ? You called me in the morning ?” – A beautiful voice appeared from behind the telephone.
(Olivia started to sob)
“M…… MOM ” – She gathered courage to speak that word. It was the first time she said that word.
“Olivia, Is that You?” – There was an excitement in the voice.
“Yes MOM” – She replied.
They had conversation over telephone and planned to meet, they met at “Cafe Rischart “…
A women aged nearly fourty- Nine appeared, with a smile and excitement on her face. It was just a glance, and Olivia ran and hugged her. The void in her heart was filled. She felt like, She was covered in love, there was only peace, all the pain and suffering vanished.
It was the first time they met each other. They shared their sufferings, their pain.
It was 11:30am when their conversation got over.
“Mom, let’s go to “Rathaus – Glockenspiel” and make a wish” – Olivia said
“30 minutes to 12” ~ Grace replied.
“Yes, it’s nearby”
“I know”
It was “5 minutes to 12″, Olivia standing next to her mother.
Closing her eyes, Grace said,”God, You are Amazing, Right here i stood and asked you for children who would be coolness to my eyes, and today you gave me Olivia” ~ Tears of joys flowing from her eyes.
Olivia looked at her mother’s face, and could not move her eyes. Grace was Glowing with a white light.
As the bell rang, There was a “Whisper” in the crowd.
“Grace, I love you, hope you are safe and will forgive me“. As he opened his eyes, there stood a women looking for someone, and that’s how their eyes met, this time it was in tears, and the time seemed to freeze.
“Grace” (He could not stop himself and fell down on his knees)
“Grace, please forgive me, I love you and will never let you go again, I will never ever hurt you”
Olivia had a dream in which she saw “A man sitting on his knees, and asking for forgiveness for his deeds”
And now this was going in reality, there Xon sat on his knees asking for forgiveness. Olivia stepped back and cleared the path between them.
Grace was speechless. But couldn’t hold herself. Her wish was fulfilled, and now it was Xon wish to come true. There she stood looking straight into his eyes, and that itself said,”The love between us is forever, and not for a day, though we have suffered, we will keep on going.
It was the longest hug of their hug, it ended after 5 minutes.
“If you hurt her again Xon, i am going to kill you, believe me” ~ It was Jim, standing behind Xon.
Olivia stood next to Jim, looking over her parents smiling.
Epilogue :- Though there are suffering and pain in life, we should never give up hope. Everyone have different stories, and childhood development plays a very important role in life. The way we act,do things, reacts, has a great impact on our children life. They do what they learn from Us.
Xon and Grace met after a long time, and were happy together. Olivia got married two years later, and her children said,”She is the best mom ever”. Luke and his wife (Sophia) visited, Xon and Grace once in every two months. Joseph resigned and moved with his parents, and started working in the company nearby…
“There are no ordinary stories, Every stories have a lesson to give and learn, Love is pure so keep it flowing “
—— Abdul Gani Punjabi
The dead speaks ⚰
Yes it’s hurts when i see you crying, the tears that flows are not lying. I know this is sad, but i have to go, It’s time to say a Bye.
I really never lied, It was true i cried. But today sitting at my grave, i see you crying. Why is it so hard to get up and say “Hi”. The soil in which i am buried, is pressing me by my side. I know it was not right, to have a relationship before we get married and slept next to the side.
The pain is excruciating, and telling me, tell those outside. Yes love is true but don’t waste it on someone you are never going to marry in your life. It happens in teenages that we gets attracted to the opposite sex and try to get them in our life. But let me Ask you a question. Do you really love them or is it a Lust deep inside.
I am sorry to say, But the truth you had hide, deep down you know it’s not right. People get married an even they try, to get the girl who lives at that house down side. It’s time to stop and look at your inner-side. Are you really gonna get satisfied by having ### with someone else wife. If “yes” is your answer then believe me you have lost the path that guide us to source who has created us with a drop of sperm which do not hold any value when wasted aside.
Sometimes it’s better to speak up the truth and break those relationship which we know are never going to give us time. The Source(GOD) is more important, it gave us a book that teaches us that the right always wins and the wrong destroy.
Wake-up from my grave, and open that book which you find at the right side. It clearly says “Order for the good, and abstain from bad” , the bad only harms you, While the good make you shine.
I know it’s hard to convey this message, but the people who are alive, i have just one thing to say that will give you an insight. Once you die you think you won’t ever get up and will never have to give account for the deeds you did in this life. You think this life is just play and fun ,With no purpose and guide ?
It’s time to wake-up and look for the guide, he is waiting for you to give you a path that will surely Guide. How insane you are, You read the book but don’t understand what’s written inside. The message have been circulated long ago but you think the message will come to you when you ~ yourself don’t take interest to find out about the one who created life.
Yes.. Your tears matter, Even i cried but the cry this time is never going to help me because i have died. Seek forgiveness from God, He is the most merciful and he give chance every day until we die.
You are crying at my grave to show me how much you loved me ? or for the property i named to the orphan, you thought that property would be yours? after i die, giving me poison in my food and don’t even bothered to give me water when i cried.
Love ~ i thought you were the only one who would understand my suffering and give me a shoulder to cry, but what you are doing is crying on my grave for the property i gave in the charity, instead of your name writing on the properties file.
—– Abdul Gani Punjabi
They thought it was Fun ..
This time my birthday was different, it was 12 when my roommate appeared and bought a 6 rupees small cup cake, as ususal i was lying on my bed,no expectation. And suddenly the light goes off and a sound appear from the corner “HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU”.. Hmm seems exciting before i woke up they gathered and pour all the colgate on to my face and rub it all over- i was quite as it was a new experience and then appears the small cupcake and before it reaches my mouth it gets smashed all over my face..And then as eveyone knows the hostel rule “Birthday Boom” it’s time to wrap/throw the blanket and beat as much as you can.So came that time blanket over me and they started to beat – it was fine before but then one of my room mate who i think is NARCISSIST started beating me hard as if it was a fight, i resisted- but can’t say a thing, everyone dispersed and then i said a group photo please and a thank you to All. And i turned to him and said “that was very hard watch out”.. I went wash myself,back in the room and again it started he was the only on who said “aur ek baar hojaye” and i said no already but then he said “abhi biscuit baki hai” so everyone came with a biscuit and gave one by one.Then again when one of them was given me a biscuit,he threw the blanket over me and start beating again(this was not fun this time it was something serious) everyone hit me but this time he “SLAPPED ME ON MY EAR”.. This was too hard- for a second everything stopped and a voice “teeeeeeeeee” appeared – wait did i just lost my hearing capacity. Ouch it’s painful..It’s NUMB – i can’t hear a thing – Ouch am not even able to hear my own voice when i am talking..Ahh was this my birthday gift. Let see what happens tomorrow.
Fever and pain – the next day start, it’s paining and i am not able to think anything,it’s blur, can’t hear a voice – that day went sick and tiring, boring day.. Went to grandma home and told her the story she said meet a doc., hmm need to – that’s important now but it was a day to meet friend and enjoy,so met my friends – that meeting sucks.. went to my aunt house had dinner with them was back by 12.
The next day,woke up and again in fever, called up the hospital asked for the doctor timing, met the doctor “What happened?”, i replied her with the incident and then she said “YOU LOST YOUR EAR DRUM”? , i knew because a day before I surffed on youtube and saw the video, what happen when you get a slap?. I replied “ It need 7-8 months to heal right,and put up cotton in the ear,no water – no air RIGHT?” .. she looked in amazement “You already know what to do” .. My bad luck i knew – lost my ear and now need to have tests and reports and medicines. Though it’s not my fault now i need to spend my money for healing up myself.
There are many out there who keep quiet and don’t utter a word. But today i wanna speak for all of them.. It’s not a joke – it can cause you a life time damage.
#NOMOREBIRTHDAYBOOMS.
What would you have done if you were in place of me .
True incident that changed my life – ABDUL GANI PUNJABI
Believing In Miracles Of life …
When we look at others we see them happy, but what we don’t realise is ~ There was a pain and struggle which changed their life and gave them lessons which they needed the most.
Sitting on the sofa everyday and thinking will this ever end ? Staring at the empty Wall , Searching for Hope .. Why Me ? Why ? Asking this question again and again But have no Answer within .. After Staring at the Wall for whole night and crying for no reason . Why ? An answer i needed , Numbness in my body no effects or feeling But having a little Faith to move High .. Faith is what kept me going , they thought i was acting weird but i knew what was inside .. A mask i wore to show i was happy and fine But within was Discomfort telling me this was a lie .. It All started when “SHE” Died . stilling wondering Did she really died ? After 4 year in depression searching for guidance and a lot of confusing arising within Asking ” Is this only me – Or are there any ? Who can understand me ? ” .
But slowly as time passed i found myself in despair , feeling myself disconnected to my inner-voice . It tried to speak many time But it was me who never hear . Recalling Those night when no one heard my sound of cry .. It was deep seated fear to be myself again . Hope was lost So was I , Finding an Answer Outside . Lack of self-Stem , Confidence , And with A broken heart i tried .. But there was something that kept me going , A voice in stillness That said do not fear .. I AM HERE . That’s what kept me going . Found out the answer today And willing to Guide Others ..
Life Is just amazing . Just Connect with the NOW , that is here ..
I consider myself blessed as i faced my fear , It was Depression that bought me Near to here .. A Believing person never Fear because he knows that there is Someone Hearing The Sounds of Tear ….
Depression Was a blessing for me , I wan’t to inform all those Out there Depressed , Don’t fear Because now i am hear to listen to your fear .
On the Path to Enlightenment , There are ups and downs but the one who Trust and Have hope Along with Patience makes there Journey worth ..
Being Grateful is the Key to Start . I am Grateful to have those Depression period in my life .
— My true life – Abdul Gani Punjabi.
